don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize