i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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