its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
