I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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