But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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