This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize