she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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