Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why do cheetos always look like penises
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
