You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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