No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize