Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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