Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
