Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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