she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.