i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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