Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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