it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize