I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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