We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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