i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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