Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger