Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.

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  (850): come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants. http://tfl.nu/d477
  Replies (14) Good night (570) Bad night (3424) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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  (845): Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name. http://tfl.nu/dkz5
  Replies (27) Good night (6591) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

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  (847): but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear http://tfl.nu/o189
  Replies (16) Good night (4267) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.

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  (303): dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0. http://tfl.nu/gdax
  Replies (35) Good night (6037) Bad night (819)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"

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  (216): i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey" http://tfl.nu/8m25
  Replies (29) Good night (6579) Bad night (1455) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

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  (619): woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word. http://tfl.nu/lmgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5703) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...

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  (415): You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me... http://tfl.nu/rukw
  Replies (2) Good night (2003) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?

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  (973): so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/8siv
  Replies (7) Good night (1378) Bad night (2983) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
  Replies (5) Good night (4044) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

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  (574): Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for? (1-574): Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina. http://tfl.nu/l0nz
  Replies (17) Good night (2129) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab

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  (719): I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab http://tfl.nu/ysz3
  Replies (8) Good night (722) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.

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  (913): He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka. http://tfl.nu/wfce
  Replies (5) Good night (980) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake

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  (630): Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake http://tfl.nu/dh07
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

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  (512): You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits. http://tfl.nu/ddql
  Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.

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  (937): That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor. http://tfl.nu/5gnj
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt

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