singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize