That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
