what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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