I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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