But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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