hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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