i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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