dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
