No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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