We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
