i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
