I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬