NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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