Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I intend to get homeless drunk
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
