We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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