i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?