Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.