he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"