when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.