I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.