grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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