woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
