we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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