Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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