Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.