I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?