Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory