Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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