Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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