I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize