I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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