Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Someone signed my nipple.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
