"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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