Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
