two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME