i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.