I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
